Today in the afternoon, i went out with two members of the SITU Family members (Kah Shin & Zong Sheng) to Bugis. We first went to Sim Lim Square to find as Zong Sheng wants to buy a new keyboard. While searching for a keyboard, Kah Shin also wanted to buy a new earpiece for her handphone. So we spent around 3-4 hours finding the items that suit them best. kah Shin bought a earpiece and a convertor for the earpiece to connect to her phone while Zong Sheng did not buy any keyboard as he finds them either too soft or too lousy. After that we went to the basement for their lunch. After that we went to Bugis Junction by cutting our way through the Bugis Street. We then went to the 77th street which sold all the items which i considered punk/spoilt child's items.
After all that we went back home by MRT. On the way back home, Kah Shin and Zong Sheng wanted to read my book (Title: You Can Read Anyone). So they read the book while one the MRT.

I think that today i was quite 'normal'. But how do i become normal in front so many people?

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 7:39 PM



Out of a sudden i got a new interest, which is photography. So maybe, as a start, i will post photos on this blog.

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 1:28 AM

I kind of like my new outfit for the Chinese New Year.

A new shirt brand for me: Diadora.
A new pant brand for me: Columbia ( this pant is my only pant that have UV protection)
A new casual shoe: Columbia (This is actually a boot that can be used for climbing mountains or for casual wear)

Labels: ACT

Posted - 1:22 AM



It's Chinese New Year. Although maybe i should be happy as i am a Chinese, somehow part of me isn't feeling good about it. I finally discovered how to be a lot more normal person now, after observing how i interact with a girl close to me yesterday. Perhaps one day i will reveal the theory for me to be normal. However if i am going to be normal to my surroundings in school, i do not know if i can do it.
Can't type much this time due to my guests at the living room. So i got to go now.

Happy Chinese New Year, to all Chinese people.

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 7:00 AM



Today, early in the morning, I was with some of the SITU Family members. Jin Wei then mentioned that yesterday ( 21/01/2009) a boy was trying to put his arm onto C2's shoulder. But C2 evaded him and pushed away his shoulder. In the process of pushing away the arm, C2 was described by Jin Wei as smiling.

Now i have 2 thinkings.

1) Negative: C2 was enjoying it, but it was the right way to push the boy's arm away.

2) Positive: C2 was not enjoying it, but in fact disliking it. She smiled due to her shyness.

Perhaps I was having this "jealous" feelings, but maybe I'm not, maybe I'm hating her?. But one thing's for sure is that i do not want to lose her, but i did not have the dare to confess to her. Most probably I do not want to risk of getting rejected and hurt myself. What should I do? Is there anything I can do about it?

Maybe I should have faith in C2, but I did not even know C2, therefore I can only have this hypothesis.

If I do not want to lose C2, is this considered as me being greedy?

I said that I will not want to think about C2 for the time being, yet I just cannot stop that. Should I become stronger and just stop everything about C2?

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 4:30 PM



V: Kian Boon, you planned so much, but did how many of your plans did you do?
V: Only a few right?
V: Like the one regarding C2, you planned so much, and yet you did not do anything about it.
V: If that's what you want then why did you even plan it in the first place?
V: Looks to me like you do not even have the courage to confess to a simple girl.
V: You're just afraid that you might get hurt again right?

I thought about what the voice has said, and i find nothing wrong with what the voice have said. But is there anything i can do when i have no information about her.

Therefore Project C2A is now underway. I hope when it's launched, all the SITU Family members will be able to attend.

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 11:12 PM



I still do not have the answers as to why i joined the SITU Family. Perhaps at that time, i only have three choices,
1) Join Santhosh's "Bangla Society"
2) Join Situ Family
3) Go Solo

At that point of time, i was intending to go solo, yet i was pulled into SITU Family due to their warmth ( i think). The indescribable feeling that it gives to me made to wanted to stay. But within the SITU Family there's also some internal quarrels too. There's one time which i nicknamed it SITU Crisis 1 / C2C. They were spread into two groups. But i was not interested in joining any of the groups as this would result in biasness to the other group. C2 may be C Square, but i also means Situ.

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 7:50 PM



You should be someone who is:

• Strong
• Unforgiving
• Decieving
• Not to be trifled with
• Daring
• Using harsh language
• Highly confident
• Unthoughtful
• Uncaring
• Unapologising
• Alone
• Cocky

Advice from V

Labels: Voice

Posted - 1:30 PM

Thursday, January 15, 2009

ACT 5: Dual Side

Like i have already stated in the last post that there's this voice that kept may be making me bad.
With that, i am already beginning to become another person. Whether it's going to be good or bad is still unconfirmed. But i will definitely try my best not to let that happen as one thing's for sure is that i will lose all the SITU Family friends. I have already changed so much from since 2007...

2007: After crisis 1: Inner Hatred awakens.
2008: After crisis 2: Getting a bit darker.

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 9:17 PM

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

ACT 4: Darker I am Getting

Today after school, I rushed to the canteen to book seats for the SITU family members. I waited at the canteen for 15 minutes and yet they did not come. (The voice said I should not have done so much for the SITU family as they will not appreciate it.) In the end, I went to buy my food and after eating, I went to the bookshop to buy a green file for my Geography. That was when I saw them coming back to school from the front gate. Obviously they went to 815 to have their lunch. (The voice then said "see, they did not even tell you that they will go to 815, is this how friends are treated?") At that point of time, I was in the SOLO state again. After all this, we went back to our respective classes.

I was a little frustrated when Jonathan (my partner) sabotaged me during the interviewing by saying I was born in the middle of the causeway between Singapore and Malaysia. He also said that i am sad because I just broke off from a relationship. But the good thing was that I got 20/30 for the interviewing.

After the Public Speaking ended at 4.30pm, I went to 4th storey to wait for the SITU family members. Then we went to the usual meeting place. We did our homework there. Kah Shin just joked that I should take away my bag from the chair to let her put her bag. I decided to let her have her way. But then she said it's ok. But I have already decided to let her have her way, so we were snatching my bag. While in the process of snatching, Kah Shin told me to let go or I will be out of the Situ Family and will have to go home. I think I was hurt by what she said. Also, Mr Jana found out that Kah Shin and I were the source of the noise, he demanded us to apologise to him. (While apologising, my emotion was dry and I do not know why) I then went back home, I did some soul searching on the way back home. (This is when the voice said that this is how I am treated by the Situ Family.) At night, Kah Shin and I apologised to each other, but somehow I can feel that the voice does not want me to forgive...

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 8:35 PM

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Dark Voice Inside Me

Every time I did something good, there will be a voice telling me to stop doing it. Every time I think
about my SITU friends or any other friends, there will be a voice telling me to stop being good to them and it also says the bad things that my friends could do to me. I love to help people, but now, I am starting to reduce my frequency of helping my friends due to the voice. The voice will also tell me that my friend will never ever care about me no matter how good i treat them especially when I am feeling low. The voice had already said the bad things that all my friend could do to me.

In the past, the voice will never say any bad things about C2. But now, it will say that it's impossible for us to be together. That hurts me quite a lot. It looks like the voice inside me is disliking C2. I cannot allow the C2 in my heart to be damaged as that's what that drives me currently. I need to have other plans in order to take on the voice. So i guess I need to first strengthen my drive. I cannot rely on my family as I have never ever told them anything that I have been through at school ( they know absolutely nothing). What can I rely on? Friendship?

Labels: Voice

Posted - 4:14 AM

The Main Goal Of My Life

My parents said that my goal should be to study hard so as to get the job that I want when I grow up and also so that i can earn lots of money. They wanted my future to be bright and I understand that they are right. But the problem is that I don't have a goal. This also lead me to be unable to work my hardest in what I do.
Examples:
CCA
Health
School

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 4:03 AM

ACT 3: End Of The Three Days Camp

Day 1: High Elements Activities
The activities were the best as the thrill of being high is simply just too great.
What I dislike was that the time for showering is just too short and that the tent and other areas were quite dirty. (Almost all the while, I was just watching/admiring C2.)

Day 2: Water Activities
Too bad for me as I do not wish to participate as I did not bring extra shoes and also I do not want to get dirty. The whole day was spent just watching the rest at the sea especially C2.

Day 3: End
I was quite disappointed as the camp ended quite fast for me since I only participate in one of the activities. It's almost time for the real school to begin, time to work hard for...my future?

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 3:51 AM

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

ACT 2: Third Day of School

It's now the third day of school. All is well, except for the fact that the teaching speed is quite fast. Tomorrow, we will be having a 3 days 2 nights camp. I wonder who will be grouped with me. I am quite looking forward to this event.

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 12:34 AM

Friday, January 2, 2009

ACT 1: First Day Of School

Woke up at 6.45am in the morning, I looked at 3V7 classroom and saw Ivan, Jin Wei, Kah Shin and Sheralin then I get ready to go to school after the necessary preparations. On the way to school, I discovered that a lot of student joined Pioneer Secondary.

When I reached the school, I saw Samuel and we planned that he will come down to 3rd floor (which is the level of my classroom) and then we will proceed to the canteen , where Kah Shin wanted us to meet at. All the SITU Family members gathered there except for See Mun (I think). We chat for some time and then it was time for us to gather at the courtyard. We were seperated again. My weird lonely feelings came back but I try not to show it.

When we went back to the classroom, it was time for class interaction. Our class counselor, Miss Huang, gave us the freedom of choice to sit where we wanted. Jonathan from 2V7 (last year) sat with me in front of the teacher's table. Soon Miss Huang wanted to setup our class committee, the first on the list was Class Chairperson, Miss Huang decided to choose me as the tentative Class Chairperson, as she wanted me to be but in case I am not comfortable with it. At first I was quite pressurised, but later, I kind of enjoy it. I do not understand why, but it just makes me feel like this is getting more exciting.

Labels: ACTS

Posted - 2:33 AM

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Introduction

Short intro from the past.

Early 2007:
First year in secondary school but I wasn't quite happy because I lost quite a lot of friends whom I knew. My first friend was Samuel Gan, followed by Winston Tan Wen Jie.

Mid 2007:
After crisis 1 happened, Jaime and I started to ignore each other. Later in July, two of my relatives died. One was male who committed suicide in a car by suffocation because he owed the bank too much money. The other was a female, who was killed in Malaysia, she was knocked unconscious and then put into the back of the car, she was burned to death unconsciously after that.

End 2007:
Winston and I was already good friends. And also I was glad to be able to promote to Sec 2 express. Project C2 started a bit before this.


Early 2008:
Second year in secondary school. I made quite a lot of friends by this year.

Mid 2008:
After crisis 2 happened in the first day of term two, which I was at fault, Winston and i weren't any friends again. I regretted what I did. But everything was too late. I began to continue my solo-self. But soon I was with a group of friends who were a artificial family called SITU.

End 2008:
I was in this SITU family group. I was glad that I had friends now. But somehow a few of them do not like me (I guess). They had a SITU family blog too. In 31/12/2008, I received news that I was in 3V8 for 2009, I was so heartbroken but I do not show my real emotions which is what i usually do. I was the only chinese to be transferred from 2V7 to 3V8. Even though I can still see my friends during recess, but still we will lose a lot of communication. Somehow I missed the SITU family, but I do not understand why. As I am able to SOLO, why am I so hurt about being separated from my friends. I just hope that they still regard me as a part of them (SITU)...and also remember me.

Labels: Intro

Posted - 3:02 AM