It's a few months since 07/02/2010. That day was when I decided to stop the chase for C2. After C2's message telling me that I was " sickening and irritating " ( Please read ACT 99 for complete information ), my 'recharge' ability ( the ability to re-energise myself each time I feel like giving up ) was overloaded. Thus I had insufficient energy left to continue the chase. The thought of resting for a while before continuing the chase did come to my mind, but after Voice's persuasion, I decided to just give up.

The term " heart-broken " may be used to describe how I was for the following days after that incident. I was mostly doing " soul-searching " for the following days and if there was any misery, I think I sank into it.

By 09/02/2010, shockingly, I was near complete recovery. It was partially thanks for Voice for its guidance. That was also when Voice gave me the idea to start moving on with my life ( which is what he means by finding the new person ).

On 11/02/2010, the new person was found. It turned out that the new person is S7. I do not understand why I will fall for her as our ideologies and background are different. But perhaps it is the difference between us that makes me attracted to her.

On 12/02/2010, I confessed to S7 despite knowing that she already have a boyfriend.

Right now, I am reviewing back on my progress. I am fascinated by the speed of my recovery. Samuel commented this as me being extremely optimistic, thus I was able to get past the previous incidents with ease. Although I still do not understand myself entire, but based on previous records, it seems that the more pessimistic the situation is, the more optimistic I will be. Likewise, the more optimistic the situation is, the more pessimistic I will be. This follows my belief: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Voice and I alternate the roles of the optimists and pessimists.

However, what daunts me is that Voice once states that the speed of my recovery resembles those of a "playboy". I replied that it should clearly knows what type of person I am and the rules that I had put up to obey with. Voice said in return that it sees the potential of me becoming a form of "playboy".

Now, am I really that type of person? One of my rules states that I cannot play with another person's feelings. In addition, I am not the kind of person who break rules ( especially the ones made by me ), thus I do not believe that I can be that person or have the potential to be one. It is just...not me...

Labels: ACTS, C2, S7

Posted - 1:35 AM